Introspection

Its been a long time since I was last here. I am out of the hangover now and no longer excited about US, the dust finally settled! Oh by the way I got a new degree (Kudos to me!), started working again, this time as a developer which I am enjoying very much. As I started at Cisco, my aim was not to repeat the mistakes which i did during my last tenure, hence my first task was self development. I thought a lot about it, and the mistake i did again was I assumed self development equals career development and so it started.

Initially it was just my love towards the new kernel development book by Robert Love; then I don't know when I entered a whirlpool that brought so many changes in my life. It began by asking questions to myself, questions regarding my fears, my addictions, my lifestyle. It was high time, I answer them. First I had to work on the first two. It was the hardest last couple of months that I ever experienced, needed utmost dedication, but as I stand now I accomplished what I set myself for. One of the best things that my friend told me was about "closure". I remember in one of the friend's episodes, Rachel tells Ross that she needs closure. That term had always eluded me, but now i know what she meant. It is needed in life, infact very much. Now I feel good that, although I admired many but never fell in love, I don't think i could have handled it very well! Then my lifestyle, the third, started out with small workouts, but soon realized workout benefits can be seen only by tuning my eating habits. It was challenging at first, but you would be surprised to know I haven't missed a healthy breakfast at 7, in last three months.

Last month I got a new car, a new Mazda 3 i Touring. I am loving it! Got my Hubli home renovated, one of my proudest moments! Although so many things changed, I realized I am not content. I mean truly content. When I got a new car, I thought I would be extremely happy since it would be the first car in my family, but truth is I was not. I needed to buy that laptop, that smartphone and so on. I mean is life all about running behind something or the other all the time? Its like you get married, then you need to buy a house, then kids, then their school, college, their marriage and the list goes on. I had a hour long talk with my mom last night about the same. She had some very good suggestions actually.

Yes, Life means running behind something, it never stops. At any age it does not, we always want something new, something different, something exciting, something more, may be its all a part of being human but one thing we should never forget is after accomplishing something take a little time to sit down, pat yourself, share it with others. Success is important but make sure your feet stick to the ground, don't lose hold of yourself. Competition and success are important but make sure never gain happiness at the expense of others sadness. It will never make you content, truly content I mean!

Oh its 12 already! Have to go to Target, Ross, valley fair mall, Indian store where the hell is my list! And it starts all over again :)