Office Office!!

Things about office that you Sorry me hate or like...

1. You MUST hate the cafeteria food. Liking that food is like committing the most heinous crime on earth. This is valid even when your colleague has brought a lunch which looks such that you prefer to just stay away. And for Christ's sake never go for the second fill!!!
2. You MUST hate your cube. Even if it has all the comforts of a heaven, there is something you can find. May be just look at your neighbor, he may have a hideous face or he may have worn an odd apparel or worst he may be your "teammate".
3. If someone gets a new car in office you MUST involve with others in teasing him/her about when will he drop us home, even when neither us nor him/her bothers to do it even once.
4. You MUST hate your manager and director. I do not know if this comes along with the breeze of AC in the office as a free package.
5. Treats MUST be in a so-called sophisticated restaurant. That's because most people in office care about the "ambiance and not the food". Even if you feel the food was worse than the "Shanthi Sagar" nearby your house; you MUST say the food was great and thank the person for choosing such a great place and may be go a step further saying you will surely recommend it to your friends.
6. There will be some ladies in office who ACT(actually overact) as though they are dieting. They usually do not eat any sweets, coconut items,oil( a big no!!), even though they can gorge tonnes of ice-creams and chocolates.
7. Never Never eat anything out of interest in office. A suitable analogy: Order a plate of gobi manchurian(7 pieces) for a team of ten. Out of which five people will be ladies, so the overacting rule applies and they wont touch it( I just saw a lady take a hairline of onion from it and say its too oily. The others will say, ya by looking at it only i felt that). The other dudes are also no less of a natak company, one takes one piece then the other says hes full already and cuts a piece into one third. This goes on for about half an hour until then one or two pieces will be remaining on the plate glaring your eyes. You think a lot and about to grab those then a good Samaritan takes away the plate to the wash room.
8. Always use the terms "ping", "doze", "pretext", "in the loop", "contemplate". Also when you are in office you MUST be secular.
9. You MUST hate Pj's and laugh at some recondite jokes that one may feel don't even classify as jokes. Also never have a complete laugh flashing your teeth, just put on an artificial laugh.
10. You MUST love movies like "Pursuit of happyness", "Hotel Rwanda","The pianist","Saving Private Ryan","Schindler's list","No Man's land", "Blood Diamond" and all the movies that deal with social cause and the movies about some countries called Somalia, Zimbabwe. I agree that some of the movies listed here are good, but for God's sake all these movies deal with great pain, suffering; when you are already locked in a cubicle for 9 hours, and other n number of problems haunting you, why the f*** do you want to add more.

Actually lot more points can be added but this is what i recalled just now coming back from office (Ya its a Saturday!!) and yes, some were purposefully deleted for obvious reasons. Also any resemblance to any person may NOT be entirely co-incidental. Finally its just my opinion!!!